Sociology 447 `Marriage And Family (Question 2 & 3)` Number


Sociology447 ‘Marriage And Family (Question2 &amp 3)’


Sociology447 ‘Marriage And Family (Question2 &amp 3)’

Question2, Love

Despitebeing a simple word to mention, love has been an essential element,but a complex one at the same time. Social psychologists have overtime had a hard time trying to define and explain on aspects of love.Different approaches have been used to explain the love phenomenon.Some of these aspects are passion, intimacy, and commitment. Socialpsychologist has overtime attempted to explain the relationshipbetween the ‘three pillars of love’ and their contribution tolove. According to psychologist RobertSternberg, he summarized the issue of love with his theory,‘Sternberg`striangular theory of love’,and according to him, love is made up of three components namelyintimacy, passion and commitment.

Lovehas become an important element in people’s life, both at apersonal level and to other people. Despite the importance of love tothe life of a human being, it is complicated and usually arises inmany forms. This has led to the development of the three pillars oflove that is passion, intimacy and commitment. By pillars it meansthat one may love based on intimacy, passion or commitment, althoughthe love may be a combination of the three. There is a possibilitythat one may experience different aspects of love as depicted invarious stages of the relationship that they are in. It can also beused to mean that one may move in and out of various types of loveover a period of time (Acker&amp Davis, 1992).

PassionPassioncan be said to be that component of love that deals with motivation,as well as, a state of arousal. It can also be said to be a state ofintense longing to be in union with the other person. Passion hasbeen found to be highly dependent on sexual needs, as well as,intercourse. This may be met in two ways, which are the mental orpsychological arousal and the physical or physiological arousal. Thetwo types of arousal work simultaneously. Passion is therefore thecomponent of love that initiates the aspect of people comingtogether.

Intimacythisis the other way that love emerges. In this state, love ischaracterized by warmth, connectedness and closeness. It is a statewhere both partners are having the feeling of giving and receivingemotional support. The two partners are always ready to share theirthoughts and experiences with each other (Acker&amp Davis, 1992).It should be noted that intimacy and passion always work together inthe sense that in case a relationship lacks passion and has intimacy,it is not a romantic love but just a liking or a friendship. Intimacycan therefore be termed as the basis for a couple to have apassionate relationship. Passion draws a couple together, but it isintimacy that will convert any form of attraction into a relationshipthat suits the two partners. There is a high possibility thatintimacy may at times come before passion. The most practical exampleis that of friends who become lovers.

Commitmentthisplays a role in those relationships that are short-term or long-term.In short-term relationships, it applies where the couple has agreedto love one another while in long-term relationships the couple hasmutually agreed to maintain the love that they have developed for oneanother over a period of time. A case in point is marriage where bothpartners have agreed to build a family together. In the institutionof marriage, commitment is important owing to the fact that marriageusually lacks the initial intimacy and passion that was there at thebeginning of the love affair. Commitment is therefore the componentof love that makes people stay married and be worked through thedifficult times they may face together (Acker&amp Davis, 1992).

Acombination of the three pillars of love leads to a variety ofdifferent relationships. Passion and intimacy lead to a romanticrelationship. A fatuous love is created by a combination of passionand commitment. On the other hand, a compassionate love is the kindof love created where both intimacy and commitment are present.However, the kind of love that combines the three pillars of love isknown as the consummate love (Sumter,Valkenburg &amp Peter, 2013).In a broad summary, theamount of love any person experiences are dependent on the absolutestrength of the identified three components. Moreover, the type oflove one experiences rest on the strengths relative to each other ofthe components,

Long-termlove can be developed through compassionate and consummaterelationships. In compassionate relationships, there are intimacy andcommitment, but no passion. Despite the lack of passion, the couplesstill maintain the relationship based on the mutual interests andvalues. In a consummate relationship, the three pillars of love arethere, which makes it the love that most people strive for in life.It is however not easily attained or maintained. It is a rarescenario, but when it happens, it serves the partners with sufficientmarital satisfaction, mental health, as well as, the well-being ofthe partners (Sumter,Valkenburg &amp Peter, 2013).The balance between the Sternberg’s three aspects of love isexplained as the key understanding of love however, the threeaspects are expected to shift through any given relationships. Whenthe three pillars experiments a strong unity, this love-typifies anideal relationship for the majority of people. However, it’s clearthat, it’s not only time alone that causes intimacy, passion, andcommitment to occur and grow. Nonetheless, understanding thesecomponents of love, helps avoid downsides in a relationship.

Economicfactors and love

Womenas social beings have been found by anthropologists and sociologiststo be attracted to men who earn good money or those who are rich.This is as a result of the social security that comes with such men.The mentality of the women is that she may not lack anything when inthat relationship. Physical attractiveness has been found not to playa very big significant role to women as they prefer security. Womenwill therefore fall in love easily with men who have more money orearn more while the same women will fall out of love in case the manloses his job or becomes bankrupt. Social security in women is moreimportant as compared to physical attractiveness (Sumter,Valkenburg &amp Peter, 2013).This is different when it comes to mean as they follow attractivenessother than any other factor in women.

Question3, VerbalAnd Nonverbal Communication

Communicationhas become of the basic yet essential tool for the success among thepeople, be it a relationship, in business, or in the society, it hasplayed the uniting factor in the society, and effective use of itmeans success and unity. However, communication is a broad phenomenonwith different types of communication in existence. This questionlooks to explain the relationship between verbal and non-verbalcommunication which are some of the essential elements incommunication. In addition, the question also looks into mistakesmade by people when addressing their difference and also how themistakes can be avoided.

Thereare different aspects of communication such as verbal, nonverbalbeing some of the basic and essential ones. Interpersonalcommunication does not only involve the use of words alone, but alsoinvolve the implicit messages that are usually passed or expressedthrough behaviors that are non-verbal in nature (Siegman&amp Feldstein, 2014).In most cases, the use of non-verbal communication usually involvesfacial expressions, the tone or the pitch that one adopts in his orher voice and the gestures that one displays through the use of bodylanguage. It can be argued that the use of non-verbal cues can in oneway or another give clues and additional information, as well as,meaning of what is said in verbal communication (Siegman&amp Feldstein, 2014).

Therelationship between the two forms of communication is an essentialone when any person wants to improve his communication skills withother people, as well as understand other people. This is because ofthe fact that a non-verbal communication that may seem appropriate inone situation may not be appropriate in another situation alltogether. It may make another situation look awkward and stops anyconversation or make the conversation boring. It is thereforeimportant for one to make sure that he or she has understood the waythat nonverbal cues relate to the spoken words that are used (Knapp,Hall &amp Horgan, 2013).In a brief definition, verbal communication entails communicationwhere by face to face, radio or television are used to communicate,it used spoken words. On the other hand, non-verbal communication isthe use of body language, gestures, and use of signs incommunication.

Theuses of non-verbal cues are many and vary with the use of the cues.They are usually used to complement each other or to substitute eachother. On the same note, they accentuate or substitute them. Itshould however be noted that words and nonverbal messages can alsocontradict each other. This is if one may use one of non-verbal cuein a way that may not necessarily be compatible with what is beingsaid (Knapp,Hall &amp Horgan, 2013).The contradiction between verbal and nonverbal cues is one of themost serious offenses in communication as it can deal communication avery big blow. It has been found that such form of contradiction canlead to irritation where one may be in a position to feel offended asa result of the use of nonverbal cues in the wrong ways.

Theother effect that is brought by the contradiction is confusion as onemay be confused at the message that the speaker wanted to pass acrossto the intended audience. In case one missed on something, then itmeans that people may confuse in the end. Mistrust is also a commoneffect of contradiction between verbal and nonverbal cues. One of the most important things that can be derived from the use of nonverbalcommunication is that paying attention to contradictions that existbetween the verbal and nonverbal forms of communication that are usedby a person is one of the ways of uncovering lies (Siegman&amp Feldstein, 2014).Despite the relationship between the two components ofcommunications, people always makes numerous mistakes whendifferentiating the two, such as wrong decoding or interpretation ofthe non-verbal message among other mistakes.

MistakesThat People Make In Their Analysis

Oneof the mistakes that people make while addressing the differencesbetween the two forms of communication is that verbal communicationis best suited in conveying of specific information. This means thatthis form of communication is better suited to the use of technologythat it usually done in long distances.People fail to appreciatethe fact that nonverbal communication is far much more immediate ascompared to verbal communication. However, its meaning is far muchmore ambiguous as compared to that of verbal communication (Knapp,Hall &amp Horgan, 2013).It should however be noted that certain forms of non-verbalcommunication communicate messages far much better as compared toverbal communication. For example, the use of the eyes is used tocommunicate emotions more effectively than the way the words of mouthcan. On the same note, there are some technological means ofcommunication such as the use of films that convey different forms ofnonverbal communication (Knapp,Hall &amp Horgan, 2013).

Theother mistake that people make as they try to appreciate thedifference between verbal and nonverbal communication is that theyvary as a result of gender and cultural differences. Most of theresearchers have always argued that men seek to offer solutions whilewomen always tend to focus more on empathy. The implication is thatmen are more goals oriented as compared to women who are alwaysrelationship-oriented. This clearly shows that the use of nonverbalcommunication extends to gender communication to some extent. Peoplealso fail to understand that the use of nonverbal communication isalso dependent on culture to some extent. What means a thing in oneculture may automatically mean something different in anotherculture, which means that the meaning of such a cue cannot be onlydrawn from one culture. On the same issue of gender, women are saidto be better interpreted of nonverbal cues more than men (Knapp,Hall &amp Horgan, 2013).Cultural differences that arise from cultural differences innonverbal communication can always lead to misunderstandings due todifferent meanings that may arise from the same nonverbalcommunication (Siegman&amp Feldstein, 2014).

Inconclusion, communication, whether verbal or non-verbal is anessential component among people and in the society. The two types ofcommunication despite being different are used hand in hand, henceit’s hard to differentiate and separate the two. However, peoplemake numerous mistakes differentiating the two, such as a wronginterpretation of the non-verbal communications. Sometimes, verbaland nonverbal communication may lack consistency and may in one wayor another contradict each other. However, women are better than menin noting such inconsistencies that may exist. It is the choice ofthe receiver to decide on whether to trust the verbal or thenonverbal message when such contradiction occurs (Siegman&amp Feldstein, 2014).


Acker,M., &amp Davis, M. H. (1992). Intimacy, passion and commitment inadult romantic relationships: A test of the triangular theory oflove. Journalof Social and Personal Relationships,9(1),21-50.Q2

Sumter,S. R., Valkenburg, P. M., &amp Peter, J. (2013). Perceptions of loveacross the lifespan Differences in passion, intimacy, and commitment.InternationalJournal of Behavioral Development,37(5),417-427. Q2

Knapp,M., Hall, J., &amp Horgan, T. (2013). Nonverbalcommunication in human interaction.Cengage Learning.Q3

Siegman,A. W., &amp Feldstein, S. (Eds.). (2014). Nonverbalbehavior and communication.Psychology Press.Q3